When I entered into the final year of my graduation, I began to get initial glimpses of the so called highly competitive world out there, waiting for me to step out of the safe waters of school and college into the open sea of challenges and struggles, where the survival of the fittest is the nature’s Law.
I used to notice some peculiar yet interesting changes in the surroundings as well as in my thinking when all I heard was the never ending talks about jobs, campus placements, resumes, improving English to improve chances to live one’s life and many more. At first, a thought came to my mind that it is good that the youth of this country (and surprisingly of my college too :D) are so aware and taking steps to ensure a successful career. However there came a second glance where I saw another dimension of reality from entirely opposite point of view. Somewhere behind the obsession and a mad will to win the race of job and career, I saw the most intense form of human emotion- “FEAR”. The fear of not getting a job after degree; fear of inability to perform as per society rules and regulations; fear of not being able to earn a decent package to show off and the worst fear of not meeting the sky high expectations of family from their graduate son.
If you too are going to step out of your college soon and are experiencing similar kind of fearful thoughts and feelings, then do not worry as I went through a similar phase and feel that there is something more crucial to be afraid of. Remember the scene from Harry Potter when Harry confesses that he is not really afraid of Voldemort and at the same time made to realize that actually he is afraid of fear itself. And that is a good thing.
Similarly, I too experience fear like rest of the world. However unlike others, I am actually afraid of winning that race in which every one is running; afraid of getting stuck into a work for which I feel no passion; afraid of not utilizing my natural talents and potential to serve others; afraid of experiencing the emptiness which I sometimes sense in others who are engaged in so called highly paid government or corporate jobs; afraid of watching a movie named “regret” being played in last few moments before my death and most importantly, afraid of just existing in this world making a living but ironically not living at all.
And in an inexplicable way, I am momentarily relaxed and peaceful, secretly smiling inside that, I am already a winner of the race; the race which only I am running and the only person whom I have to beat is the person I see daily in the mirror. After such initial moments of calm and peace, I am again engulfed by fear, but this time I embrace it. Why? At least I have a lot better things to be afraid of and to fight against..
What is your fear? Are you afraid of not being able to make a living to merely exist in this world? Or do you have the courage to look beyond and acknowledge and fight the fear of not having lived at all?
Do share your insights in the comments section.