A hole in the Family

A hole in the Family

Do you have a sibling who tends to be dominant over you and tries to control you even if you are right? Or are you that sibling who wants to prove you’re the best while downsizing your own blood relation? Is it ego, over possessiveness, or just a pleasure while the other gets hurt?

There can be several forms of dominance exerted by one sibling over the other. But the most common of all is a brother showing it on his sister or the elder one showing it on the younger. But it is not that younger ones also do not display such dominance. There can be several reasons for it such as ego, stubbornness, rights being the elder and more. But the main person to be blamed for such a clash to happen between the siblings is not the dominant one, but the parents. At times parents grow their children in different ways.

If a couple has 2 children, for instance, they might grow both the children in different ways, maybe because of the gender difference, or giving a higher status for the elder child. It is acceptable that the elder child has a certain level of dominance, but it shouldn’t be in a manner that the child displays over dominance on the second child. This is because, till the moment the first or second child leaves the house, the subversive child will be broken hearted constantly. The child may also display aggressive nature or hatred towards the elder and thus willl cause a hole in the family. The hole is not the subversive child, but the one who is stubborn enough to be dominant and who demands rights or respect. If parents detect such behavior from any of your children, remove it right from the start. Because such children, as they grow up, will show that dominance even over the parents eventually. Such parents also have a problem of listening to such children or accepting that child’s decision point blankly. Even if that decision is regarding the second child, because such children will never understand the feelings of the other.

family

Now when it comes to a younger child, once again it is the parent’s fault, no doubt. This is because the parents will pamper that particular child and yield to that child’s remarks and decisions no matter what. Even such children will have a feeling that the parents will obey them no matter what, even if it involves risking the elder one’s feelings. And such children, may they be young or elder, boy or girl, will display such similar traits in school as well as their workplace. It is not just about family, but it is the Indian culture that forces parents to bring up children in that way. But if parents are not able to give equal importance to both the children, then definitely the child who is oppressed will hate the parents and above all the dominant brother or sister.

There are also situations where they go in wrong channels such as drug addiction, unwanted relationships, falling for people who display the slightest love without realizing is it genuine or not. Or they can also struggle and reach great heights in order to rescue from the family in the name of a job or studies. But above all this, parents have to make sure they distribute equal amounts of love and rights for every child they have irrespective of the gender or who was born first, because their gender and age lies in your hands, and if you do not see them as equal, ,maybe then you were never really a PARENT!

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Neeta Vijaykumar
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