Did you ever wonder why young people prefer love marriage over arranged marriage? Why is it, in most of the cases, parents are against their children, being engaged in love and try to separate them?
The present generation doesn’t believe much in arranged marriages, they prefer love marriages. Because, people in the present world need a “perfect” partner not just any! While the statistics say 80% believe in love marriage and the rest 20% believe in arranged marriage. A marriage is just not an union of two people, it’s about understanding and knowing each other, agreeing to accept each other the way they are and not what one wants the other to be.
But most of the arranged marriages are meant to be an union of two families and least relevance is given to how the couple feels about each other. They wouldn’t have time to know each other and understand each other. If they express their feelings to families like ” I don’t feel anything towards him/her”, family responds by saying “love will grow in time”. What is the use of such a marriage where the couple are not comfortable with each other but they adjust for the sake of their family.
Marriage is a decision to be taken by a couple after knowing each other, understanding each other and realize the love for each other because it is them who are going to spend the rest of their lives together, not the family. This is where love marriage has its advantages because in love marriage the couple get to know each other well, understand each other, bond with each other, accept each other the way they are, compromises or adjustments have no space here and they realize their love for each other. But often love marriage is misunderstood as an expression of freedom and rebellion against parents.
On any grounds, love marriage is said to be perfect because we find our true soul mates and get married happily ever after. It forms a perfect formula between the couple. It’s a stage where the couple feel free to express their views and feelings rather then hiding them, the couple have a mutual understanding, the couple are to be blamed for their ups and downs but not their families and most importantly one doesn’t have to change for the other’s happiness as they accept to each other as how and who they are.
Why are parents against love? Why do they think love is bad? The answer to this is given very well in the Bollywood movie “2 States” inspired from the love story of India’s best selling author, Chetan Bhagat. The narration in the ending scene says, “ Kyun hote hain humare parents iske against? Baat shayad dharm ya communities ki nahi hoti ,Baat bas ye hoti hai ki Humne unse pooche bagair kisi ko dhoond kaise liya. Agar Mujhe kisi se pyaar hua hai, to iska matlab ye thore hi hai ki unke hisse ka kum ho gaya. Pyaar batata nahi sab ko pura pura milta hai aur unhe to Garv hona chahiye ki hum bhi unhi ki tarah bina matlab Pyaar kar sakte hain. Humare Pehle shabd se le ke Pehle Ciggrate tak sab dekha hai unhone, Ab achanak unhe lagne lagta hai ki hum bhool jayenge unhe aur isi baat ka gussa hota hai “.
It means that why are parents against love marriage. It’s not about religion or community that they are actually concerned, they are concerned at the fact that we find our partner without asking them. We love a person doesn’t mean that the love towards parents is reduced. The time from where we say our first word till our first cigarette they have seen us do it and then all of a sudden they feel that they would be forgotten, it’s the anger of that they show on us.
This is absolutely true. But why would we forget our parents when we have our love reserved for them always in our hearts which would not change or reduce on the entry of a new person in life. But this concept never changes but it’s always an excitement and experience to see the journey from love till marriage and making a balance between love and family. Families should know one thing, they have a prominent space and love for them in their child’s heart where as another prominent space and love for the partner in their child’s heart, these 2 could never be merged.
So to all the parents who say no to love marriage, stop going against it and instead support it, support your child’s real happiness and throw away the feeling of being ignored by ur child once they choose their partner.