Most of us can call to mind a roommate who made us think we’d never peaceably coexist with another human being again. I had one such experience in the second year of my undergrad. I had to share my room with the most annoying and evil being that ever existed on planet earth. Even though I am not a very patient person, this girl tested my tolerance to the extremes I had never imagined I could handle: She would make weird noises while eating, she would never use her own bed, she would always sit on my bed while eating and make it dirty, she would call her mom to tell her how many people love her in college (only guys loved her and you my intelligent readers should have got a hint why 😛 ), she would lock the room’s door from outside while I was still sleeping inside and if that was not enough she would spread rumors about me in the entire hostel (not that anyone cared 😛 )

I tried to tolerate her irritating habits for a full semester but when the things didn’t seem to change I decided to twist things in my favor. I strongly believe in the policy of tit for tat and hence, I chose to give her a taste of her medicine.  Now since a lot of you can also put yourself in my shoes and relate to my suffering, here are a few tips on how to tackle such pieces of “pricks” in the most humane way possible:

Step 1: Talk it out. Confront your roommate and make them aware of your true emotions. This is really important for a peaceful co-existence in future. If they understand your feelings and both of you are able to reach a common ground of understanding then everything is sorted. However, if they try to put the blame back on you then you know that talking is not going to work. It is time to go try the next step.

Step 2: Interrupt your roommate during her/his irritating act. This is like catching the thief red handed. In my case I covered my ears while she made irritating noises while eating, I told her upfront to clean my bed or else she would never see her bed clean ever again etc. Make sure they realize their mistake. If not, point it out in front of others so that they feel the guilt and try to amend their habits next time. However, there will still be some shameless roommates who simply don’t care about the world and would continue making the world dirty by staying alive. In this case, go to the next step.

Step 3: There is a famous saying in Hindi “zeher zeher ko kaatta hai”  (translation: poison kills poison). So it’s time to make them recognize their own boo-boo. Repeatedly put them in uncomfortable situations which annoy them. Even if you don’t like those habits yourselves, you have to do it if you need to see the light of a better future. There will be a point when they will reach their tolerance limit and tell you that your habits annoy them. This is the time you end the story by saying “As you sow so shall you reap“.

But then your roommate might be a coward and might never confront you with her/his feelings. Therefore, you might not get a chance to use the master stroke sentence and hence you will have to try out the last step of this process.

Step 4: REVENGE time !!! Tell the world about her/his reality. Make her/his life a hell. Make sure each and every soul around her knows about her annoying habits. Make the hostel warden aware of your suffering. Make fun of her while she is engaged in her bothersome activities. You can do whatever you can think of to scare the hell out of her. Remember, everything is fair is love and war and this is WAR!!!

A bad roommate can turn your life into hell. It is your responsibility to get out of that hell and try to make your world a paradise that you want to dwell in. However, in this pursuit of making things right for yourself and letting people realize their errors, make sure that you do not stoop down to their level. Do not turn into a person you hated in the first place. Live life, love yourself and make your roommate a better human. PEACE!!!